My Girl Is A Vegetable

This song is considered sensitive and contains lyrics that may be offensive to some people. Please speak to a parent or guardian for further help.


My girl is a vegetable
She lives in the hospital
I'd buy her anything
To keep her alive.

My girl she has no nose
Just a piece of rubber hose
Id' buy her anything
To keep her alive.

My girl she has no lips
Just two big potato chips
Id' buy her anything
To keep her alive.

My girl she has no hair
Razor stubles everywhere
Id' buy her anything
To keep her alive.

My girl has her own TV
It's called an EKG
Id' buy her anything
To keep her alive.

Sometimes I play a joke
Pull the plug and watch her choke
I bought her everything
Why won't she die
(God, why won't she die).

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Damien, Cook Islands

24 October 2016 at 9:28am

Thank you for your blog article.Really looking forward to read more. Really Great.

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David, Merritt Island, FL

22 April 2016 at 5:09pm

This was always one of my favorite cadences when I was in the Army, but why the he'll is it on a site like this for children?

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ferg, columbia sc

2 March 2015 at 1:46am

Being a medic in the Army for the past 7 years, I love this cadence. We use humor to get over really messed up stuff. It's called a coping skill. That being said, I don't think I'd like my kids to ride on a bus or laugh at the idea of someone in a coma.

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lucky, washington

25 July 2014 at 6:01pm

I dont care if this is an army cadence this is just about as disgusting as it gets.

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Angie, United States

7 April 2013 at 2:32pm

Its an army cadence people! Quit saying whoever wrote it is terrible and that no one should sing this. The ones who do are protecting you.

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Joe, Spain

28 March 2012 at 9:50pm

Yes it is sick but its just a song and my 12 year old kid thinks its funny too. We sing in our Hash group and gets a lot of people laughing. Dont listen to do gooders

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Nikita, Kenya

26 March 2012 at 11:36am

awesome song :)

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Ryan, United States

12 February 2012 at 1:10pm

Great cadence. Loved it when our MTI would start singing this song during pt.

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Surojini, United States

4 February 2012 at 9:21pm

this is an awesome cadence. I speak for most black folks when i say " play this to my baby momma" =)

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Lucia, United States

6 November 2011 at 8:52pm

This is awful! I can't believe someone would write a song like this! :(

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Bob, Croatia

5 August 2011 at 3:11am

i like banana up my ass

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Dillon, United States

18 July 2011 at 3:39pm

*seas under breath* i dont like teachers

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Dillon, United States

18 July 2011 at 3:31pm

lol this is sooooo funny my dad sang it and i cracked up

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Cassie, United States

30 June 2011 at 11:39pm

Well.... I'm an ICU nurse and I think this song is hilarious! hahahahahahahah

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Adam, United Kingdom

27 June 2011 at 8:20am

wont be useing this song at the toddler groupe then lol

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Lisa, United Kingdom

26 June 2011 at 10:02am

Er WTF? Why is this song on a kids web site for nursery songs? Not really appropriate for my pre schoolers! :-/

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Mae, United States

29 May 2011 at 10:41pm

Gross but funny

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Wes, United States

17 April 2011 at 6:30pm

It's an army cadence. Its hippies like y'all that cause all those u.s. Soldiers to die. We are army and we will jack all over you!

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Doug, United States

29 March 2011 at 4:20pm

Perfectly fine song for a school bus. Kids love this stuff. Anyone who thinks a 13 year old boy or girl wouldn't find this hilarious is kidding themselves.

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Billy, Bahamas

14 January 2011 at 1:35pm

I love this song, last verse especially :) My friends, Laura and Tanvir Duhra fell in love whilst listening to this song. Aw, and they played it when there baby was born! x

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