The Burglar Bold


I'll tell you the tale of a burglar bold who tried to rob a house.
He lifted up the window and he crept in like a mouse.
He looked all around for a place to hide 'til they were fast asleep.
He said "With all their money, I will make a quiet creep!"
He scooted under the bed and then he moved up close to the wall.
He didn't know an old maid lived there or he wouldn't have been there at all.
'Bout half past nine the old maid came, "I am so tired,' she said.
And thinking all was alright that night, she didn't look under the bed.
She took out her teeth and her old glass eye and the wig from on top of her head.
The burglar he had seventeen fits as he looked from under the bed.
(Something's missing from here,I'll check)
>From under the bed, the burglar crept he was a total wreck.
The old maid, she was wide awake and seized him by the neck.
She didn't faint or scream at all, she was just as cool as a clam.
"At last my prayers are answered,' she said, "for now I have a man!"
She took out her revolver and to him she quietly said: "Young man, if you don't marry me, I'll blow off the top of your head".
The burglar bold, he looked around to find a place to scoot.
He looked at her teeth and her old glass eye, and said: "Go ahead and Shoot!"
Bang Bang.

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Evelyn rogers, United States

24 May 2015 at 1:58am

When I was about 10 years old, my beloved Sunday School teacher would play her ukulele and sing this to us. It was our favorite, and we would always beg her over and over to sing it again. Such sweet memories, and I am happy to find the words again after many years.

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Cheryl, United States

26 November 2014 at 1:34am

I'm 70 and my grandmother used to entertain us with this in the form of a poem. We would ask her to recite to us and never tired of it. She too was quite a entertainer. Her version was a little different and began with "let me tell you the story of Burglar Bold who went to rob a house". . .

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Bonnie Douglas, United States

30 August 2014 at 5:37am

In our family, we remember an aunt reciting this to us. There are some parts from each version that were in hers. Thanks for this. Last evening family and friends were having fun reciting various readings, poems etc. and we tried to remember this. Thanks again.

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Val, United States

19 August 2014 at 9:54pm

My Mom sung this all of my life I will turn 60 in December and she sang it until she died in July of 2013. All of her grandchildren loved it. Mom was a wonderful entertainer to us and anyone else that would listen.

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Christina, United States

28 February 2014 at 4:14pm

I remember this was one of the folk songs my dad sang when we were traveling. Like some of these comments I was trying to remember the words and 'googled' it. My version was just a bit different but I think I've the jest of it now. I remember first hearing this tale around 1961, I was 3 years old.

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William, United States

29 January 2013 at 3:28pm

My Grandmother recited the following version to us as children. I now recite it for mine. : ) Once there was a burglar bold who tried to rob a house He opened the window and then crept in As quiet as a mouse He thought of all the money he had As under the bed he lay At nine o'clock he saw a sight that made his hair turn gray At nine o'clock and old maid came in "Oh I am so tired" she said And thinking all was well that night She forgot to look under the bed She pulled out her teeth, a big glass eye and the hair from off her head The burglar he had nineteen fits as he crept from under the bed Quickly she, her revolver drew and to this man she said "Young man if you don't marry me quick, I'll blow off the top of your head!" The man got down upon his knees for he had no place to scoot He looked the old maid in the eye and said "Madam for goodness sake shoot!" ~Enjoy :)

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Dennis Morgan, Canada

17 October 2012 at 9:20pm

I used to hear a man recite this over 40 years ago and I often wished that I had recorded it. I decided to google the name and lo & behold there it was. His version was a little different because he had his own Newfoundland twist and his own actions to it & at the end his words were, "for Jesus sake madam shoot." I've printed it off for future reference but delighted to find it.

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Linda, United States

21 February 2011 at 12:48am

My dad used to sing this and play his guitar..his lyrics were just a little different. It was good to sit here and sing this..lots of great memories. I wish I knew where the song originated. Thanks for the memories.

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Chelle, United States

7 December 2010 at 4:21pm

My Pap sang this to us all the time. Thought I would take a chance and see if I could find it online. Thanks for posting it. Good memories!

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Brenda, Alabaster,al U.s.a

22 September 2010 at 4:55am

I just want to thank you for putting this song on here. My mom sung this to us all the time, I never could remember the words though. I am going to be a Grandmother in Dec. 2010 I took a chance to see if I could find it so that I could sing it to my grandson. Thank you so much!

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Ed, Point Roberts, Wa, Usa

5 February 2010 at 4:18am

i have part of what's missing: ... "So," said he, "by jiminy, I guess I'll make my scoot." also, instead of "Go ahead and shoot!" at the end, i've heard: "Madame, for Pete's sake shoot!?

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Ina, Vienna, Austria, Europe

30 September 2009 at 7:42pm

you are sure that's for kids?

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